she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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