the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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