giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
