just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
