i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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