I feel great
I just peed on a car
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
