VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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