it wasn't lemon gatorade
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
3 2 1 whiskey
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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