I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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