I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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