Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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