It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
