we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
