so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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