69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize