I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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