I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
