I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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