So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
