So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just want nice things and good sex
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize