You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
