Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
How's work?
Spinning.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
