Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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