Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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