mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
