drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
