I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
