We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
