so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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