Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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