the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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