I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
