you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
