I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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