You're my little dorito
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
