He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
