Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
