No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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