you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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