If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
