I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
