New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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