Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have aggressive nipples.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
