What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
