New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
