dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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