my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
