my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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