ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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