i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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