sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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