half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
