It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
