I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
