I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
