so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
