Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
