I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dignity is for republicans.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize