What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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