There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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