ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Randomize
