Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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