He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You can't motorboat a personality
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You need Xanax blowdarts
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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