She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
