So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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